What You See is Either Taught or Allowed

“What you see is either taught or allowed.”

A simple phrase that has stuck with me.  I first heard it from a varsity football coach who hired me as a head 8th grade football coach.  The point behind this statement is pretty powerful:

As a coach, whatever product I saw on the field was the result of what had been taught or allowed.  If my players lacked discipline, it was because it was either taught or allowed by me or my staff.  If my team looked unorganized, or disinterested, it’s because it was either taught or allowed.  In football, this is why fundamentals, organization and discipline are so essential for success.  In short, this statement is a great teaching point for leadership of any kind.

Think about this statement in these environments:

 

Thanks Moms!

Seriously, are there any  harder workers than moms?  I think that we would hard pressed  to discover a more demanding job.  Being married to a beautiful mother of a 3 and 1 year old, gives me a crystal clear shot of the effort, love and intentionality it takes to be a good mom.  So, Amber, thanks for all that you do.  Our kids love and adore you.  They reflect your heart and your spirit.  Thanks for your investment in and care for our little ones — they are and will make you make you proud.  God has chosen you for the most important job in the world — thanks for letting Him work through you.

Go Moms!

 

The Rear View Mirror

It’s been a while since I have blogged, but I wanted to share a thought quickly with you.  A few months ago, I came to an amazing realization:  I am not who I used to be.  I am now a husband an a father.  I realized this one day when I looked in my rear view mirror.  Shortly after Elle was born, I had both of the kids in my car.  I glanced in my rear view mirror to the back seat and realized I had not one, but two kids.  My, where did the time go?

 

Pink?!

A strange, yet exciting day is fast approaching. A day that I am completely clueless about…the day that I become the daddy of a…girl. Now, you might be thinking, “that’s not a big deal.” Well, let me explain something to you. I am one of 5 boys. That’s right… no sisters! My first child (almost 2 years old) is…you guessed it, a boy. My brother and sister-in-law have a 8 month old boy. On my wife’s side of the family there are 3 grandchildren and they are all…BOYS! So, after an entire generation of boys, the Stoffer streak will end. In early May a Stoffer girl will enter the world and the evidence is already all around my house. My wife is decorating and buying pink with glee, while I am secretly freaking out. I really have no idea what little girls are like. What an exciting/scary new adventure. I can’t wait to meet this little girl and help guide her through life. Who knows, maybe I will do fine with dolls, dances, boyfriends, make-up, pigtails, sleep overs, dates and emotional eating (my wife gave me the most evil eye for writing that and says boys/men do it too). If not, I can always catch a Buckeyes game with my son, Jace. Just kidding…seriously I am looking forward to having a daughter. I do have high hopes since some of our most mature student leaders in our ministry are our teenage girls- who have dreams of changing the world and I believe they will.  It’s just completely unchartered water for me. Any advice?

 

The Vacuum

As a father to a 21 month old, I learn something new everyday…or at least I am reminded of something. Today, my wife was vacuuming the living room. Every time we vacuum the house, Jace (our son) has to run and get his little toy upright vacuum to join in. It is absolutely hilarious to watch him! He will follow us around and trace every square foot that our vacuum cleans, with his own toy. Why? Because he imitates almost every thing we do! How exciting and intimidating is that? His little world view is being shaped by our actions, words, emotions and thoughts. Every night, Jace has to read his Bible and sing “Jesus Loves Me” before he goes to bed. If we do anything out of that routine, he gets upset. Why? Again, he imitates us. He has seen that we place value in reading the Bible and worshiping. All this to say that as I watched this little boy vacuum like his mom today, I realized that his little eyes watched me all day. He watched me get impatient with people in the crowded store today, with my wife and…with him. Ouch…I wonder what my actions taught him today? He watches me so close. He laughs when I laugh, loves football because I do, and makes the same faces I make. As he gets older, he will treat people the way he sees his dad treat them. What a good reminder to always remember that little eyes are watching us!