What You See is Either Taught or Allowed

“What you see is either taught or allowed.”

A simple phrase that has stuck with me.  I first heard it from a varsity football coach who hired me as a head 8th grade football coach.  The point behind this statement is pretty powerful:

As a coach, whatever product I saw on the field was the result of what had been taught or allowed.  If my players lacked discipline, it was because it was either taught or allowed by me or my staff.  If my team looked unorganized, or disinterested, it’s because it was either taught or allowed.  In football, this is why fundamentals, organization and discipline are so essential for success.  In short, this statement is a great teaching point for leadership of any kind.

Think about this statement in these environments:

 

Choosing the Right People…

As a young leader, I am very interested in finding someone to mentor me right now.  I am hungry for someone to heavily invest and challenge me as a follower of Christ, a man, a husband, father and a pastor.  There’s also a strong desire in me to find someone willing to stretch me as a leader.  As a youth pastor, I see the HUGE need to invest in a few…and go far deeper with a couple of students than what you normally would in a program.  Last year, I even attempted a relationship like this with a few students.  My goal was to: awaken and inspire them to God’s reality.  I also focused on unleashing their dreams and visions. But, I remember thinking this: “I have no idea how to mentor these kids because I’ve never been mentored.”  However, I quickly realized that this kind of thinking can often be an excuse for not investing in anyone…so I did what came natural to me and it seemed to have an impact.

So, my question to you is this: Do you have a mentor?  If so, how did you go about finding one?  Did they find you?  Or, did you seek someone out?  If you sought someone out, what qualities did you look for?  Any feedback you could lend me would be greatly appreciated.

Steve Carter (Student Ministries Pastor at Mars Hill) recently wrote a very good post on more of a professional-type of mentoring relationship.  His post talks about people in his life who offer both healthy critique and encouragment for his teaching.  You can check his thoughts out here.

 

The Struggle

As a young leader, here is something I battle almost every day — confidence. “Real Life” is extremely weird to me. I mean, think about it, after graduation from college, you are thrust into life and are supposed to begin a career. Then, you’re supposed to let your life play out according to the American dream (which many in my generation see right through) and basically have your life scripted out for you by friends, family and even the church. Well, what if your career is a “calling?” That can be quite intimidating. What if your job involves shaping lives and leading? What if you are the youngest pastor on staff? Again, that can be a bit intimidating. As I man, I probably let what I do determine how I view myself too much. This can be a bad thing…especially with the often messed up evaluation of a successful ministry (the amount of people who come to your programs instead of the amount of people whom you are reaching out to and the kind of impact you are having). Recently, I began mentoring 4 students. At one of our times together, one student said, “I want to be like you Dan.” Wow…that was the most humbling thing I ever heard…and one of the most challenging and convicting. Shouldn’t I find confidence in that instead of the amount of people who come to our big program in the church building? Shouldn’t that be the basis for evaluation? Being a young leader can be a roller coaster ride full of questions: “Is this who I have been created to be?”, “Why don’t older people invest in me?” ,”Where do I go for validation?”, “What do I do with this passion in my soul?”, “Is my voice valued?” If you’re a young leader, be sure to check out this video blog from my friend Tony Steward. I think he really articulates the need to be yourself…to dream big and follow the plans God has for you in life. As you watch this video, be sure to wrestle with the definition of success. Is success what the world tells you, or simply being who you were created to be. After all, in Christ, you are not defined by your sin, your limitations, stress or by how the world judges you. Enjoy the video blog, find your confidence in the Lord and be who He wants you to be. I’ll join the fight with you.